Conscious Living Now

Friday, December 01, 2006

Falling in Love, Being In love, Falling out of love.. the physical process

First I would like to thank Frank for allowing me, for Gifting me the pure and genuine experiences of Falling and Being In-Love so that the wisdom of the event could flood upward thru my senses and become an outward expression of understanding.

Isn't it peculiar when one first experiences the presence of love connecting and co-mingling with our presence of love we call the process... which for the physical body is a chemical process.. for the spirit.. it is a re-membering process... we call this process Falling In Love.

In a way... we are falling... like walking off the edge of the cliff into the obis of the unknown... the yet unexperienced... and into the potential of the freefall of the event.

And then we land... and feel... and experience... and truly in ever aspect of the term... are In Love.

Love is our purest form of Who We Are. Our Love in the physical form is constantly seeking out others that vibrate to that Love frequency and our intention in this human body, in the loving experience of life... is to attract to us those who will help us more clearly re-member who We Are in body and in spirit. With this experience, I am going to use me ( as the example...

I can firmly stand in my own Presence and state with clarity... I know Who I Am on all levels of Being. However, knowing Who I Am in this moment does not allow me the experience of experiencing Being Who I Am on all levels. And so, from that deepest, purest part of myself... I started to send out signals (actually demands, about 4 months ago... about August of 2006) of wanting to express who I am to learn more of my physical expression of Who I Am and what the Physical Expression... when joined with the presence of another would unleash with potential.

And so.. that vibration was felt... met, and acted upon by a soul named Frank.

Thru a few phone conversations (we had not met yet at this point, his first contact was via phone)... I could see and feel my own chemical make-up start to change. I could feel my very Being excited with each moment of conscious exchange with him (phone calls). I knew something bigger was happening... and the one thing I know if it is happening to me, it has to be happening to him too.

We thought we were merely forming a business alliance... lol, in a sense isn't that what all relationships really are? The end result being Awareness of Self, even if it is unconsciously. You have created a new product together... You.

He came into my world in Sept of 2006 and we met for the first time Nov of 2006 with many phone calls in between the span of time.... each experiencing this oneness that was happening... the re-union of soul energy (even as it was unconsciously).

When we met... some how 4 hours slipped away in the feeling of 10 minutes... the conversation and excitement never fell to a lull... it expanded and moved outward with every beat of the heart....

And we talked more on the phone... and this entire process was rearranging my chemical make-up... I could see it and feel it happening within me. I could feel the old insecurities that I would once bring into a union... dissipate and fade away (talk about healing thru the vibration of love!). I didn't even have to work at it.. it was simply happening as I allowed my own process to unfold without restriction.

And yesterday we met for the 2nd time... we once again spent 4 hours in the moment of 10 minutes... every part of our Beings alive with exchange... (we had lunch at a restaurant together for 4 hours). I felt absolutely free in his presence. Free about who I Am, Who I Was and Who I Am becoming.... and in that expression I also knew these things about him...

It wasn't until I returned home did I even realize the level of exchange we had at that restaurant. When I walked into my house.. I felt like I was being squeezed into a little box.. that had a slow heavy drag to it.

My whole Being was osculating at such an intense vibration... I no longer even fit into my home... the vibration of my home was slow... cumbersome and very restricting. I have never felt this before... this is the very place I meditate, do readings, teach courses... I would have never foreseen the restrictedness of my own dwelling... until Frank gave me the gift of HimSelf... and expanded with me.

And so, I waited til my vibration slowed down... and I could feel it in the core of my solar plexus... spinning at a rate of speed I have never physically experienced... and allowing the process to do what it needed to do so I can once again return to the mundane.....

I felt the energy move up to my heart chakra as the rate of speed (information) slowed down... and I could feel the breath of my lungs gasp with each osculation... and as it mingled thru my Whole Body... my vibration returned to what I had been accustomed to... and I spent the rest of the day and evening simply Being in Love and allowing it to reach my consciousness in expression and understanding.

And then I faded off to sleep....

When I awoke... I could not write a thing. I felt like there was something my consciousness needed to expand into yet it was not coming out in writing. So I went into meditation...

And wow weezers... the question that has been on my heart for 16 years... was answered in a moment.

Why do we fall in love... and why do we fall out of love?

Our soul journey into the physical is to re-member who we are. That's it.. the big mystery of life (smile). As we move thru this crazy little thing we call live... every person, every experience... every breath is there to help you re-member you are... and who you want to be. Even the most unconscious person is going thru this process... everyone is.

We attract into our Oneness of being people who will help us understand ourselves more intimately... who will help us to re-member who we are and what we are capable of. They too are seeking the same thing.. and then worlds collide...

And the union is formed... and each breath you take together brings you into an even greater expansion of Who you.. individually and together (since we are not separate to begin with). The more you learn of who you are... the more you want to know more about yourself... and this continues for ever.

When two people come together and are continually learning, expanding, seeking in that Oneness of each other... the moments never fade.. they become grander... and deeper awareness of the soul is revealed in each expanded breath together...

When one person stops expanding... becomes comfortable in a space and does not wish to seek further... the chemical reaction that created this Holy Union... starts to change. The chemical reaction of the intense learning together was put to a halt... and so the counter part will react to that...

And the expanded energy fields of the Oneness (two people in a relationship) start to disconnect... one retracts so much the other can no longer feel their Oneness.... the union in which the relationship started.

And the once intense relationship has what we call become broken... separate.. because one stopped seeking to know themselves on a higher level.... they became comfortable with their present moment... and now that energy must seek out its counterpart and remove itself from the expanded energy.

This is not to be looked at as right or wrong, good or bad... it simply is. Perhaps the only way one can truly experience themselves fully... in re-mebering who they are.. is with another... the first relationship has gone as far as it could go...

We try and live in such a restricted world and become entangled in the mis-guided teachings that love is forever... which it is... but the experience of Self Realization is an ongoing process... and will always seek a higher union with Self.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What happened to the USA, where did it go?

We live in a tragedy. And what is even a bigger tragedy, we don't do anything about it. This time we are living is going to go down in history books, and history should call us, the people who live in the USA the laziest people that ever lived, or maybe, the most complacent.... same thing really.

We are a do nothing people. Bitch a lot, but do nothing.

Does anyone remember when the USA stood for something, was beloved by the world for the goodness we were (NOT are, but WERE). Does anyone even care?

If there are 300 million people living in the USA, and really a few hundred that are running this country into the ground, instilling hatred for us around the world... why aren't we getting up off our asses and doing something... anything?

We are such an arrogant country... we the people are arrogant as well. We send our children off to war fighting for freedom... yet we are no more free than the people in Iraq. We just have a very different guise.

We are filled with fear... fear our own worst enemy. Our governments can feed us anything they want, and we eat it up like they speak the gospel truth... and our fear gets fatter... heavier.

Why is so few people questioning everything that is happening in our government... or worse, doing anything to change it. To change the atrocity our country has become.

We live in the illusion... and find great comfort in the fact that our elections are going to make a difference. Ohhh now those democrats are in power... that will change things. Truly, it just dumped fuel on an already out of control fire.... enraging the flames of hate and division even more. But we're not looking at that. For now, we have found comfort, more complacency in thinking... ohhh we did something by our votes (at least, the collective consciousness of this diminishing country takes comfort in thinking that).

Does anyone really believe that now, our elders will be well cared for... loved and cherished even? Will our children be able to get enough to eat, educated and allowed to live freely in their hearts?

Do you really think, now that we have had our vote, our governments will rush to our side in our hour of need? Will racism and homophobia stop?

Will we return to the country of Brotherly love.. the very thing that grew us into a great country... a country of honor? If anyone thinks a yes comes to anyone one of these questions... man you have really been duped!

The only time any of this is going to change... is when we change it ourselves! When we band together and change it. When we put our foot down collectively and individually and said... I have had enough. No more killing, both in other countries and within ours. No more tyranny... no more hatred and fear. No more division of we the people...

Does anyone but me find it Ironic (hmmm maybe synchronistic would be a clearer word) that Bush put into place a law on Oct 2006 that would allow him to create a country of Martial Law with a single pen swipe? Do you even realize what Marital Law is.. or worse, do you care? Bush said this country would be "easier to run if it were a dictatorship and he were the dictator" but we the people didn't bat an eyelash... we are soooo damn lazy we don't care.

Anyone who truly believes that the 911 happened without the open and welcoming arms of the Bush Administration... the driving force of the events... the very thing that allowed it all to take place so they can carry out their own personal agenda... has their eyes closed so tight to the true reality it is shameful. But then again, that is what America has become shameful.... fearful... arrogant.

We stand presently in the midst of choice... the choice of getting up, banding together, hand in hand, heart in heart... and take this country back... change the government from the ground up... wipe the slate completely clean and start all over again.... otherwise... our greatest nightmares will surely unfold... and our future reality is much closer than any of us want to believe.

300 million vs. a few hundred hell even if it was a few thousand... we CAN do this... we can restore love and honor and brotherly love... together. We just want to have it badly enough. If we are going to be a fearful country... FEAR THE GOVERNMENT! Turn that fear into action... and lets start taking back what our forefathers strived so hard to create! It has been unraveling for years.. and we have done nothing to stop it.

Lets stop now, today, this very moment with being so complacent and lazy, and worse yet.. trusting in our government or that our elections did anything other than fuel a fire that is out of control. We just made the fire, the anger, the hate... bigger!

Together.... united in one mind and heart... we can do this, before it is too late to change it.

With honor and hope to all,

Sunday, November 12, 2006

With recent elections.... we only THINK things got better!

Ya know... for years... many years.. I had seen GI Joe's in our streets... I knew for years that the potential for this country.. the USA was building up to become ruled under Martial Law.... how and when that would come to be... I was clueless... still am really... sorta.

About a month or so ago... God pulled me up onto the surface of the sun (he has done this many times in my past when we had to look at something that was happening on the earth... that I needed to be aware of).

I was shown the surface of earth and two large black (with small traces of white) trains heading toward each other... on a collision course with each other....

I seen the impact happen... the two trains collided head on... the collision created huge cracks on the earth... shattering it from its once pristine view...

I felt the hmmmmm... the tragedy and ultimate change that would be created thru this collision.... I didn't want to know any more... I got out of meditation... didn't ask for clarity of any info... I knew when the time was right within me... I would totally understand it... I just needed the set up... and that is what I was shown.

I really thought is was Korea and us... but it wasn't at all. Yesterday it became vividly clear what this was... and what was being set up in our world.

The collision is the democrats and the republicans. It is two driving forces that are our country... on a collision course with each other. Which is going to change our world... shatter our reality... and have an impact that is globally felt.

It also started to creep back into my awareness yesterday as I processed all this... the remembrance of the many meditations I had seen concerning Martial Law...

I realized (and please keep in mind... it has to be this way in order for true change to happen in our country and around the globe).... this election day.... is truly the beginning of our end.... but everywhere there is an end there is also a new beginning!

Bush has always had his own agenda... and those who made sure Bush was in the highest seat in this country (we needed a brainless person to allow this all to happen... make sure it happened).... and now that is not going to be so easy... for there is a House and a Congress who may not allow it to just happen as previously done.

So now what... how does Bush stay in control??
Public Law 109-364, or the "John Warner Defense Authorization Act of 2007"
(H.R.5122) (2), which was signed by the commander in chief on October 17th,
2006, in a private Oval Office ceremony, allows the President to declare a
"public emergency" and station troops anywhere in America and take control of
state-based National Guard units without the consent of the governor or local
authorities, in order to "suppress public disorder."

It has become clear in recent months that a critical mass of the American
people have seen through the lies of the Bush administration; with the
president's polls at an historic low, growing resistance to the war Iraq, and
the Democrats likely to take back the Congress in mid-term elections, the Bush
administration is on the ropes. And so it is particularly worrying that
President Bush has seen fit, at this juncture to, in effect, declare himself
Read the full text here: Bush moves toward Martial Law

All he has to do... is allow his croonies to once again bomb America... just like in 2001... and he will have reason to enact this law... and us crazy fear filled Americans will embrace it... well most of us anywayz. Amazing what fear can produce... and what love can reveal!

I remember receiving a channeling some months ago... preparing for the storm... not quite sure I even made it a public posting (I will double check and post it if not)... and now I understand the depth of what was being asked.

We can sit blindly on the sidelines saying well it if it meant to be... there is nothing I can do about it. Or we can start preparing now.. devising our plan to stay in touch... to band together in the light of god... and be the guiding force that will change it all.... in spite of what may come.

It is in these times... most especially in these times... we have to start living consciously... with complete awareness of All There Is... and All We can do!!

With love, honor, and hope!

The power of desire... The fruits of our labor!

Hi there you beautiful incredible souls,I remember when I started this path... 6 years ago yesterday... And I started to get a glimpse of what life is REALLY about... And how amazing it truly is... My intention, my deepest desire.... Was to commune with God, not occasionally but all-ways.

Some people are content hanging with their spiritual guides... Which alone is a wonderful communion in itself... And anyone who reaches this point... Conscious communion... Surely has traveled high in the realms of awareness!! And as I share this, please know I love my team... Oh my goodness I love them and honor them for the most incredible patience and love they gave me each and every moment of my life.

But for me... That was not enough. I wanted to hang with the big guy... The creator of all that has been and will be created. This desire was from the get go.. Well the get go once I realized what was possible.

Then somewhere along the way... When I cannot pinpoint... Somewhere along the phases of continual shifting and reaching that occurs on this path of awareness... I started to have a clarity of mind.. A clarity of vision... That left me content with what I started to "know" and experience. The source of it all no longer mattered... I knew the force that was sharing with me... Was a pure spirit... For the first time in all my life... I didn't ask who this energy was... Maybe somewhere inside of me... I couldn't... Didn't want to know.

I have not personally worked with my spirit guides in years... I didn't realize this until this weekend... I knew I was always working with a highly evolved energy (I almost want to laugh at that statement).... When I called on my guides, they came as friends... No longer my teachers or aides... But as a friend who came to say hello and encourage me to keep reaching out... But no longer thru them...

Even when I do my readings... I do not use guides, nor tools, not anything really. Just me, the person I am connected to... And something else I never knew until this weekend. It's funny really for me to even think about... Because I never thought about it... At least not until this weekend.

Recently, I met a man who just rocked my entire Being... In a way I will never be able to fully express with my words. I wanted to know more about this man that recently rocked my world... My spirit... The core of who I Am. In trying to understand him... Our connection... I learned so much about myself.

When I met this man (and I had only met him once physically tho we talked several times over the last month or so) we stared talking about books... I will call him the number 1 fan of my magazine... My 1 issue magazine (smile)... And that is what he called me for... About my magazine... That was the connecting point of our spirits.

We talked a little bit about the book "Conversations with God"... I mentioned I picked that book up several years ago... But put it down because the page I read in it... I already knew from my own meditations... And it didn't feel right for me to purchase this book... At that time. He loved that book... It impacted him... I smiled, books are like that!

This past Thursday... My daughter was getting her hair done at the mall... Borders book store was right next door... I decided to idle away some time looking thru a book or several. "Conversations with God" was on the bookshelf in full frontal view (not binder view, but full cover view).... I picked it and started reading... And smiled a broad smile... I know this author (not the guy who wrote the book, but the energy talking to the guy who wrote the book). Even the persona of the energy was the same... I read several pages... Smiling because the information that is in this book... Is also in my book... Without distortion of context.

I put the book down... And continued with the rest of my evening. Friday morning I was supposed to finish some really past due energy readings... It was also a day I was supposed to have off to be with my new friend, but he had to go out of town, and I had promised spirit I would go to the woods and hang out with them instead... But instead I wanted to work.. I needed to catch up on these readings....

Someone put a stirrer in my brain... I couldn't read... I couldn't connect at all... Then I was pulled into meditation... And there was that familiar voice... That which I call my father... I asked him about this man... And his impact on my soul... And he told me to purchase the book Conversations with God and my answers in regard to this new person would be answered. I thought how strange... But hey I was up for a good read... I was also told to go be in the woods like I intended... yikes... But who am I to argue... If god says do something... I gotta do it.

I bought the whole 3 book compilation... Went to the park where I intended to go... And started to read... And cry... And realize.... Whom it is I have been working with thru my readings.. thu my meditations.. thru my writings... thru everything I choose to do... (that is of the highest good that is..).

That energy is God.

Funny tho.. There was a time I would have felt so small compared to that understanding... How could I dare to think, let alone accept, that what I, I do with gods hand in mine. Every word that I utter... From my heart, is gods words too... Every visual I see in a reading, is gods visuals too.

For years (and please don't take this statement as my ego.. I swear it is just a sharing) people (especially those who choose to take my spiritual development course) that they would have a horrible (at least horrible to them) week... And the moment they connected with me online or on the phone.. They felt a peace they have not had during the whole week. They felt comforted and reassured.

Now I realize why... It is gods presence that creates that feeling... I have always known it was not me offering the insight... It never has been me... Not even my readings are from me... I have always assumed it was the guides, our spiritual guides... Even tho I never seen them or felt more than 1 energy with me...In me.

I replied to a post on my Spiritual Awakening forum to my dear loving Janno on Friday.. Just moments after I came out of my meditation with God... And I could feel the words coming out of me to him... thru god... It was really gods words not mine... Even tho the feeling was mine... Ours.

But there was more to this book... This realization within me than knowing who the driving force is consciously. It also has set me up for the next stage of my journey... With an excitement I have not felt in years... Almost since the beginning of my path.

The heart of my learning... The bringing forth of my own Godly abilities... Have just begun with conscious earnest. So now all I have to do... Is become clear on where I Am going with the next phase of my lives journey... And that is where I am at in this moment... Seeking my own inner clarity... Remembering what it is I set out to do and become.

Thank you for allowing me to share, and release some of this emotion that is so welled up in me.
I love you!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Finding Inner Peace within Chaos

This is my story... One girls journey from Chaos to Clarity:
Hi, my name is Lisa Gawlas and I feel that sharing my story is important for many reasons. The main reason is to show I am no different than anyone else on the face of this planet... well not really anyway. The majority of my life was hard and painful and I suffered many physical and emotional effects due to that part of my life.

However, the one thing that saved my life (in more ways than one) is the very thing I teach now to anyone who is truly interested in helping themselves... I learned to develop myself spiritually. I am now a very gifted psychic (I prefer the word Spiritual Reader tho) and I am an excellent teacher for those interested in Spiritual Development. I no longer suffer from (severe) depression and have healed my ulcers and have been totally and completely healthy (both physically and emotionally) now for 5 years.

Here is my story:

My childhood was not very pleasant. I was born to a mother who preferred money and men over child rearing. My father left long before I was born. I spent time in and out of foster homes and group homes until finally reaching an age the courts decided I could be emancipated (declared a legal adult) at age 16.

I gave birth to my first child when I was 20 years old and my last child when I was 28 years old. My children were the very best teachers anyone could have ever asked for. I am so grateful that they loved me so much (in spirit) that they agreed to come into my highly dysfunctional earth life so that I may learn the many lessons that comes with being a parent.... and the struggle to be the best parent (vessel of love) a person could be.

For the better part of my life, I was angry, bitter, depressed and questioned the validity of God at every turn. As a child I could not understand what I had done so wrong to have this very lonely and painful life. I grew to hate the concept of God. He seemed to be one more element in my life that echoed worthlessness within myself.

The first time I tried to commit suicide I was 13 years old, the last time was when I was 38. The history of my life seemed to be like an angry ocean... crashing down around me at every turn. No matter how many times I picked myself up and steadied my feet, there always seemed to be another wave waiting to crash down around me.

I had an experience on 11/11/00 that was so powerful... so life changing that I feel the need to share it with you. In June of that year I had yet one more wave tear my life apart. I was severely depressed. So depressed I didn't leave my house for 3 months.

In the summer of 2000 a friend had given me a book to read "Opening doors to other worlds" (I forget the author, I no longer have that book). I glanced at it several times and put it down. I really wasn't a big fan in what some would call the occult. But then, in November of 2000, something inside of me compelled me to pick up that book and read it from cover to cover. There was a very small chapter in that book on Ouija Boards. I have heard of Ouija Boards before but never used one. Something from deep inside of me started to dwell on this particular chapter...

I became obsessed. I wanted a Ouija Board and I wanted one now. My son (who was 17 at the time) had to work that night so I asked his girlfriend if she wanted to play with me on the Ouija Board... she hesitantly agreed. Now I had to find a Ouija Board. Being in the Baptist Belt of NC I knew this was not going to be an easy task... little did I realize it would be impossible. Good thing the book said you can make your own Ouija Board... which is what I had to do. I bought some plastic board and cut it up into little two inch squares and put a letter on each square as well as numbers, yes, no, and good-bye. I bought a 69 cent plastic pudding cup from K-Mart as the plachette (the thing you use to move around the board).

As I was driving home with the contents that would soon make up my homemade Ouija Board I realized there was a full moon outside. I told my sons girlfriend this should work well since there is a full moon (where that statement came from I have no idea).

I sent my youngest child (then 10) to her room at 7:30 pm and told her to stay there. I was not sure what to expect and didn't want her to know what I was doing.

The book said we needed to concentrate. It also said we need to ask simple questions when opening the board. It never said anything about protection before starting this event, or what may come of it.

I placed a small tape recorder next to me so that I may capture anything that was needed for later review. I started asking the question "Is there anyone here". I repeated this statement several times with nothing happening. I realized that doing it this way (as the book instructed) was going to take too long. So I decided to incorporate the first two questions (from the book) in one sentence "if there is anyone here please tell me your name".

After about the 3rd or 4th time of repeating this question our little pudding cup that our fingers were resting upon moved about 3 inches! We both quickly removed our fingers from this cup...completely startled and blaming each other for moving the cup.

After we composed ourselves we put the cup back in the center of my kitchen table (which was serving as the board itself) and started the question over again. This cup immediately moved to the letter C then A then D E E it took a pause then moved to J I L L. The name of this person was Jill Cadee.

I asked many a question. Found out she lived in Iceland in the 1600's (the dates were exact but my memory doesn't recall the dates now). She died when she was 22 years old (and the dates she gave us added up correctly. She said she had 4 children and a husband who died in a fire and later she died on a boat in a storm on the ocean.

The information seemed to come without effort. We had almost no concentration between us. We were smoking cigarettes while using this board... taking our fingers off and putting them back on the pudding cup... but it never interfered with the communication that was coming thru. This cup moved fluidly and without delay.

All of this information came in the course of about 2.5 hours. I now had to stop and go get my son from work. The book also didn't mention anything about closing down a board either. All of this I learned after words.

When my son got home we were telling him in detail all the incredible events that were happening on the kitchen table. He was not impressed... actually became a little nervous. I retrieved the tape recorder to play it back for him and was amazed at what happened on this tape. When me and his girlfriend were simply talking to each other...the tape played normally. When Jill was present and giving us information you could hear a twang in the tape, and it would skip in parts.... but only when we were talking directly to Jill.

We assured him nothing scary was happening... this was actually fun and exciting. This was soon to change. Something very strange happened when the three of us sat down to use this board together. Instead of the loving energy that we could feel coming from Jill, the board seemed to get very dark... very heavy.

It started spelling out the words "fero die... and fire die" over and over again. At one point it spelled out the word Evil and as the word evil was being spelled out a rather large spark emanated on the wall just behind my son traveled down the wall across my dining room floor into the living room and blew out the light that was on the table in the living room.

From somewhere deep inside of me, from a place I can't even tell you where... I instantly raised up my hands in the air and yelled "There will be no evil across my table". Instantly the energy left. But now we were scared. What on earth happened. To this day I have no idea.

I don't know why, but the event didn't scare me, but it did get me angry. I wanted Jill back! After we calmed ourselves down and changed the light bulb in the lamp, we went back to calling on Jill.

Jill came back and started talking to us. My son had a question for her. For the last 6 months or so my television started to turn off and on by itself. I even had it sent out and the off and on switch replaced, but it didn't stop it. The lights would go off and on by themselves. Even my washer would turn off in mid cycle and start up again later. So he had asked if she had been with us the last 6 months. It is in this reply that I knew that me, nor either of the kids had anything to do with moving that plastic pudding cup. She said no, she was with us for the last 5 years. My jaw dropped. In my calculations of 5 years that would have put us in PA and I asked her... since PA and she said no, since Florida. I stopped and thought a moment... ohh my goodness, 5 years ago I was in Florida. That is when I got divorced and then moved to PA.

This quickly turned the conversation from her incarnation to why on earth was she hanging out with us. About a prior to this Ouija session I had seen what looked like a young girl from olden times (I could see her clothing and her face quite clearly) as I was driving home from work. She appeared in my car where the passenger side windshield meets the passenger door. She was so clear to me and only lasted a few seconds... but that image remains vividly with me even today.

I asked her if that was her that I had seen in the corner of my car. Her reply was rather surprising. She spelled out "protect you crash". My son broke down and started crying, which of course started me crying. I then asked her why she was with me all this time. She spelled out "Because he loves you". I was surprised at that answer... but now was hmmm challenging. I am not sure if I was challenging her or the incredible information that was coming out... or myself even. But I became almost mocking... saying out loud... ohh someone loves me, how nice... who is it that loves me. Inside of me I was sure the answer that was going to come out was God. And it was all I thought about as I kept saying sarcastically who loves me... (truly expecting her to spell out God because that is what was in my mind)... I was humbled beyond belief when she spelled out Jesus. I cried.

We were now into our 8th hour of using this Ouija Board... it was 3am and what more could you ask when someone tells you that Jesus loves you so much that he sent a spirit to the earth realm to pretty much hit you over the head to show you how much you are loved. (said with a smile mind you)

Jill said it was now time to rest. I didn't want to rest... I didn't want this to end. But she said good-bye and that was the end of our Ouija Session. It never worked again. I tried many times after that for a couple weeks... but got nothing but stillness from it.

These 8 hours irrevocably changed my life forever.

I needed to get back in touch with this energy named Jill and find out why she said she was hanging out with me because Jesus loved me. I went on the computer and started looking for other ways to contact spirit... and eventually found information on meditation.

Little did I realize that meditation would be the single most difficult thing I would ever try to do for myself. Talk about a mind that was totally and completely out of my own control! Until the moment I started to attempt to quite my mind, I never realized how busy I was thinking (and most of the time stressing) about nothing. Well nothing that really mattered.

My mind was so habitual with its thought patterns I would be in a whole session of self talk with myself for 10 minutes before I realized I wasn't even focusing on breathing any longer. I would get so angry and frustrated with myself I would have to stop the meditation attempt and return later when my (out of control) emotions calmed down. I do want to stress a very positive point here... I NEVER GAVE UP!

Because I quit my (severely negative, emotionally crippling) job and had lots of free time (but no money) on my hands... you could find me trying to meditate up to 5 times a day. I eventually found my bathtub to be the place where I would not fall asleep or concentrate on the traffic going by. I was by far the cleanest human being around (smile).
2 months and many variations of meditations later... I was starting to get control of my reckless mind. I could focus on my breath with feeling and vision. I was starting to receive very primitive pictures in my mind... altho for years I was clueless what these pictures represented. I would like to share two of these experiences... and explain what I came to learn of their symbolism.
The first image that I ever received spontaneously was of what looked like a pencil drawing of a rather simple eye. It would float in from my right side and float across to my left side, disappear then reappear on my right side and start all over again.
I was so excited to see this I would watch it for the longest times... which I came to realize helped me to develop focus in my meditation. Little did I know at the time this imagery (which I thought was random) was actually spirit showing me the opening of my eye chakra within the spiritual world into my physical world. (The right side represents the spiritual world... and this is always where the eye originated from. The left side represents the physical world and this is always where it floated to then dissipated.)

I also found a picture on the Internet of this simple looking eye that for at least a week seem to be the focus of my meditation... much to my surprise it was exactly the same symbol the Egyptians used to represent the Sun God Ra. Being a forever child of the sun... this made perfect sense to me when I seen it... and for the first time I felt some validation into the legitimacy of what I was experiencing (however simple) in meditation.

Altho the deepest desire inside of me was to commune with that spirit named Jill Cadee, this was not happening at all. I was simply getting pencil drawings and (what I later came to realize) small glimpses of past life memories. At this point tho, I didn't care... something was happening. I wasn't forcing it, I didn't even try to get these images... I simply would breath in light until I was glowing... then events came naturally... I was officially addicted to meditation.

I kept up my 3-5 times a day meditation but without the frustration of the first several months. My meditations would last from 30 minutes up to 2 hours at a time.

Then something new was introduced into my rather simple meditation world... a new pencil drawing! I would have a female face, profile view float in from my right side and a male profile face come into view from the left side... they would float inward at the same time, meet in the middle, kiss... I would watch a heart float up from the kiss then the images disappeared and the imagery started all over again.

I started to think... wow maybe spirit is letting me know I was going to meet a man (I was single then too) and fall in love. What did I know about symbology at the time....
I now realized I was being shown the balancing of my masculine and feminine energies and the union that was taking place within me... and I didn't even know it at the time. This led to the most powerful experience I would have for over a year... the opening of my heart chakra!

I did not realize how much healing I was doing with myself as I meditated. I was definitely getting pretty good at focus... this was better than watching any TV show... I was emotionally involved at all times... I didn't even mind when these emotions evoked crying sessions within the meditation.

So here I am, well into a month of meditation with focus and clarity that was getting better with each meditation session... but still no contact from Jill.
I decided to purchase a tape set from one of my favorite mediums... John Edward, which including contacting your spiritual guides. During the process of learning meditation, I also learned via the Internet of spirit guides (which I never heard of prior to this stage of my life).

I decided to do something really different in my meditation. I would start every session breathing in white light... I now wanted to explore different avenues to see what would happen (if anything). I created a little place in my meditative world. I was on the beach at the oceans edge (my favorite place in the whole world) with the sun streaming in on me as I lay on a lounge chair just at the breaking of the waves.

I decided instead of breathing in white light, I was going to breath in the sunlight that was streaming down on me. The sun seemed to be a ready participant, but equally had a mind of its own. When I would start to breath in, the sunlight would enter at my solar plexus area. I was baffled by this and no matter what I tried, this was always the entry point of the sun light. I decided to go with the flow... and the feeling was incredible! I was in sun light heaven here! After about a week of hanging out on my ethereal beach and drinking in gallons of sun light, I seen something move out of the corner of my meditative eye. As I turned to look I was aghast as I realized it was a tiger! I wasn't sure if I should be excited or scared... but being overly excited about this new development in my meditation... I had to explore this in more depth.

I came to learn the tiger is my totem animal. The spirit of the tiger has been with me all my life and over the next several weeks taught me a great deal about healing and dealing with life on a day to day basis (of course I didn't realize this at the time).

The tiger eventually introduced a donkey into our continual interaction in meditation. Even today, as I see a donkey in my physical world, my heart becomes so full of love and gratitude for this creature. The donkey was instrumental in helping me to learn to balance very heavy loads (stresses in life) with grace.
Not once in those times did I realize what they were teaching me or how important any of this "playing" that we were doing would be to me for the rest of my life... I was just so excited to have all this happening... and I let them lead the way at every moment.

And then... something amazing happened. One day after our ritual of playing in a riverside stream... (which I later realized was teaching me to wash myself of stress from my day) my tiger took me to a house on the other side of this stream (until this moment, we never went on the other side of the stream). This house was resembled a log cabin except it was done in stone. It was small and simple and something deep inside of me was soooooo excited to be there. I went to the door and knocked... and beamed with love and joy as my spiritual guides (including Jill) opened the door!

As I entered the cabin there were two distinct energies in there, one was the familiar Jill and the other was a young man named Ramus. I learned that Ramus was the guide that had been with me my entire life (since birth). Both of these energies appeared to be very young, both about appearing (body wise) to be in their 20's. In those days, I didn't think twice about this age thing I was just so excited to be there with something happening... the very thing I wanted was happening... communion with my spiritual guides. Little did I realize how much "credibility" they were putting into my consciousness about our young people. I do not ever look at someone in their 20's and think they are anything less (wisdom wise) than me, quite the opposite really! And I work with a lot of young people with my spiritual development course.

I would go back to this cabin every day, talking to both Jill and Ramus, and listening. I wish I could remember our conversations now, but sadly 5 years and thousands of meditations later, so much has been forgotten on a conscious level. However, the lessons are etched in all I do, say, and feel.

The evolution and transformation of who I Am, who I truly Am, could have never foreseen in those moments, at least not by me. There was a complete stripping down of the personality which was a gradual progression that happened over time, slowly but completely. The various parts of my personality was addressed in many of the meditations. The repetitive behavior that no longer served my purpose was transformed into positive behaviors. However, the progress was so gradual I never really knew what was happening on a cellular level, I just was so excited to have help in my life and with some of the most patient creatures in the universe.

There came a time, maybe about 5 months after I was in deep communion with my spiritual team that I could feel the shift inside of myself. I could feel that something had changed. I am not sure even how to describe this change. I started this path with 5001 questions. Every new experience evoked at least 100 more new questions from me. The demand I ensued for validation of all that was happening in my meditations was insistent and well challenging at best. Then all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue... I wanted to ask a question, but even before I formulated it in my head, the answer was already there within me. Not from my interactions from my spiritual team, but just laying there within me.

I no longer remember the time frame, but two very distinct interactions happened that I want to mention. Both were life changing for me. I know I have mentioned this one at least once somewhere else on this site as well as in my book, and I am going to mention it again because it was so powerful, so transforming, and so important for all to do that I must talk about it here, again.

I wish I could relate in detail the mess I was as a human. I was truly an emotional mess. As I started to get deep into meditation and healing and confronting various aspects of me, I became even more of a mess. Everything was bubbling to the surface and affecting me. I prayed... no I demanded help from the universe. Begging, pleading, and threatening to quit if someone didn't help me (smile). It was in these moments of deep stress, high confusion, and feeling more lost than found did the Blessed Mother come to me. Since the details of this exchange are elsewhere on this site and in my book, I will simply touch on the importance of what she asked me to do, "lay down ALL your beliefs so you can be filled with the truth of spirit". To imagine the enormity of this request, take a moment, think about everything you believe... everything you believe about yourself, life, religion, god, your family, your work, every aspect of who you are and what you perceive to be the truth, and try to forget it all. Not only forget it all, but wipe it completely out of your mind as if it was never there to begin with.

I wanted so much to please her... this huge icon that was here in my meditation helping me.... me, little ole dysfunctional Lisa. For 3 days straight, every moment of each of those days I tried to figure out how to get rid of all my beliefs. I did, however, realize how much was actually "beliefs" as opposed to truths (very very different in vibration). I couldn't do it, I was clueless how. These beliefs were so deeply engrained in me... made up the very skin that covered me, how do you just let all that go?
Feeling like a failure, I called on her thru meditation on the 3rd day, and simply told her I don't know how to lay down all my beliefs and begged her to help me. I will never know what she did or how, I really don't care to know either, but she did something. In the moment I begged her to help me... I felt it. It felt like someone took a gutting knife, inserted it into my guts and pulled everything out of me. EVERYTHING! It was not painful, but it was the strangest feeling I had ever experienced. I have no words in my vocabulary to even start to describe what happened or the feelings of it. When I got out of meditation I feel so empty. Like there was nothing inside of me. I was just a hollow shell of a woman, with nothing there. No emotion, no feelings, no connections to the memories that were within me. What is really strange as I look back, even the teachings of my church... were gone. The crippling teachings of my Catholicism that kept me in a place of dysfunction and dependence and fear... gone, all gone. Everything I thought was me, was now gone.

Of course this created a whole new set of questions on my part (smile). Who am I? I really no longer new. I started to demand (which was my nature back then, and to a degree, still is today) to know who I am and why is the universe helping me like this. I would get so upset that I no longer knew who I was, I would sit in meditation and just cry asking for them to please tell me who I am. I really didn't know anymore. They always came back with the same loving, assuring voice... you will know one day. Well that didn't help me in that moment!! I really could be my own worst enemy. Several years and thousands of hours of meditation later... I started to understand who I Am. Funny, now that doesn't even matter anymore. What matters is what I can do to help others in their time of need.

My life irrevocably changed forever because I learned how to meditate. I learned how to travel the doorways of information that is available to anyone who wants to learn. Both within themselves as well as the multi-verse that we live within.

It is my deepest desire to help anyone who is just tired of life always being a struggle, or health seeming to elude them... to learn how to be well in every way. There really is a better way!! Please read about the Spiritual Development Course I offer, if you put in the work, I guarantee it will transform your life... naturally!!

With love, honor and the truest sense of Conscious Living to all!!
Lisa Gawlas

Saturday, March 25, 2006

It really ISN'T in Gods hands...It's in yours!!

When we come to a place in our lives, where we are either ill, dysfunctional, or everything seems to be going wrong at once, he have a conditioned tendency to say, I leave it all in Gods hands. When actually, you should be doing the opposite.

We have chosen to be incarnate souls for a reason... A big reason. One of those reasons is learning, actually remembering, how to be in control of our lives, our environments and most importantly, our reality. We are co-creating with the forces of God and we should not just sit back and wait for some result we hope for.

For example, lets say everything just seemed to fall down around us. We lost our jobs, the bills are in back payment, we are suffering depression due to the stress of the situation. And we sit down and pray. Pray for God to do something to change our situation. If we just sit back and wait... Without doing anything for ourselves... We start to feel abandoned by God. Well, really we are the very God we are praying to, and if we do nothing, nothing different can happen.

If we don't take the moment to look at the bigger situation that is happening around us... The loss of job... What exactly happened, what did I do to create this (yes we must take responsibilty for every thing in our lives, and not look to blame others)... What am I learning thru this job loss... And how will I grow from the experience.

By doing this, the other two situations start to automatically change for you. As you start to see the bigger picture, the depression eases... The inner knowing of what to do to start getting back on track with the bills and your own well being starts to emerge... And you may find that this situation was actually a blessing in your path.

What about illness? Lets say we get diagnosed with cancer (since cancer is so prevalent in our society). Do we simply sit back and pray to God to heal it? Well that is an option, but the cancer is there for a reason... A reason that will tell you so much about yourself and your interactions with life. Thru understanding why you have cancer and why it choose to emerge in the specific area it did, will tell you where you need to make changes in your life, in your personality, in many areas of yourself. Your body is in dysfuntion because your interaction with life is in dysfunction and your body is simply trying to get your attention to tell you... It is time to change your approach, let go of the issues you hang on to... And heal. You will find, as you start to understand yourself and consciously change your approach to life... Your cancer goes away. Any type of illness is not a curse... It really is a blessing. Depending on what you choose to do with it.

If God intervened in any of these areas without you doing anything, you would have not learned a thing, and the energy of all that is happening would be worthless. There is nothing in life that is worthless and without purpose.

You really are the God you are praying too... So now... What will you do to change your situation??

With love, honor, and blessings of awareness to all.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Do you have a plan??

The one thing we are becoming very aware of, or at least should be... is that when the chips are down we cannot depend on our government for help. Katrina continues to be a real reminder of this little tid bit in this country.

So what happens if the US is once again plagued with a catasrophy? Do we just sit back and hope the government does something this time around. What if what comes around this time is bigger than Katrina? How many of us have a plan in place for pulling ourselves... pulling each other out of the catastrophy?

This next sentance feels like something someone knocking on my door would say (said with a slight smile).... God has a plan. He always had a plan, we just haven't listened to it yet. We are so busy waiting for someone else to be the plan, we have forgotten that we are the plan... for both ourselves and each other! We don't have to sit back and wait for the elusive government to help. We (the regular amercain people) are not part of their agenda.... so why do we except them to do something for us? For appearances sake, they may throw a bone... a very dry bone at that, just to say hey we're doing something... but the reality is... they are not doing anything. At least, not here on American soil.

There is no need to be surprised by events that may unfold in our near future, be those events natural or man made. We can be prepared and have a plan in place for anything that may disrupt our lives as we know it. We can be safe and cared for... depending of course, whom you choose to put your faith and trust in. God or the Government.

For me, my choice is easy. It would be Gods plan. Do I know what that plan is... no not really. However, today in meditation I have been asked (you can beleive me or not) to set up a day and time to share this "plan" with you. I have channeled information for years. I have been a connecting rod for the divine... which simply means I relay messages that others simply have not learned to hear.... from the universe, from God, from our spiritual team... and many other sources that love and guide our physical footsteps.

On April 16th of this year I will be hosting a FREE seminar online that will reveal Gods plan and what our part is in this plan. What we can do for ourselves and each other as the storm comes closer to our lives than ever before. There is incredible safety and comfort in Gods plan. He will never turn his back on us... but we can choose to turn our backs on him.... and without even realizing it, many have already turned their backs on God as they face the government for their security and safety.

Even the most professed believer (in God) see's the government as something tangable, something they can turn to with a physical clarity of perception. God is (in those eyes) ellusive and "out there" and not really communicative.

I would like to invite anyone who is interested in attending the first seminare on "Being a part of Gods Plan to whether the coming Storm" to attend. I will be posting the exact online location in a week or two... but the day and hour is set. April 16th (Easter Sunday, when many people are open to the thought of rising above what is physical) from 5pm until 8pm.

If you have any questions, please feel free to post them here and I will answer what I can.

With so much love, honor and incredible humbleness,

P.S. I didn't spell check this, pardon any typo's. Thank you.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Healthy food? First we need healthy air!

Ok, we know that fat laden, chemically processed food is completely void of anything nutritious. But what about the foods labeled healthy or nutritious. What exactly are we consuming when think we are eating healthy?

If you happen to make enough money to buy organic foods you think they are chemical and pesticide free, but are they? In our air there are tons of toxins and chemicals floating around. As these toxins and chemicals and other things that simply don't belong in our air float around they actually do land and take up residence where they landed. Yup, even in the fields of our organic farmers. Granted we are not eating near as much pollution and debris as our cheaper mass producing farmers, but we are eating these things even when we pay top dollar for them.

Our air has become foul. No matter what corner of the world you go to, there is pollution looming around in the air, on the dirt, blades of grass and our water supplies. We breath these toxins, eat these toxins and wonder why we are consistently sick. Asthma is on the rise, cancer is on the rise, and diseases we never knew existed are coming into existence. Granted most of these illnesses are blamed on cigerette smoking, both first hand and second hand, and people are buying it, but what makes me raise an eye brow is why people aren't questioning the air we breath period?

Why is it we are so willing to turn a blind eye to all the toxins in the air, and eventually on and in the food we consume, but yet stomachs turn and tempers flair when someone lights up a smoke.

I am currently living in Newport News Virginia (USA). I landed here in August of 2005 and it seems one of the things I had to say goodbye to was the stars in the sky. Every now and again there is a spatter of stars here and there, but the incredible constallation that I came to know and love in Vermont... gone! Too much pollution to look thru. And lucky me gets to breath the air here, not to mention my kids, neighbors and every other living thing. And to think Vermont used to issue smog alerts... if Virginia did we would be on alert 24/7.

We will never truely be able to eat healthy until we are able to breath healthy air. But of course, there are only a hand full of us that even complain about the air we breath, and even fewer of us doing anything about it!

Anyway... just venting.